Yin and Yang Caregivers

I ran the full gamut of personalities the other day in BabyLand. The players were the caregivers assigned to the same baby on two different shifts.

The first caregiver was someone who I'd seen as I did my work, but hadn't had a chance to really speak with her other than to ask permission to draw one of her charges. But one day last week as I walked into the little girl child's room, I noticed an addition to the tubes and wires and bandage tape.

In the little girl child's baby fine, almost non-existent hair was a little pink bow. It was darling. I couldn't help but grin with delight. When I left the room, I saw the roll of pretty ribbon, some double stick tape and a pair of scissors. I heard the caregiver say to another, "There's a little girl in Bay 2 who needs a pretty ribbon."

You know how I feel about the babies. It put a smile on my face for the whole day when I heard her words.

The next day I happened to draw the little girl child who lives in Bay 2. She's a precious little thing. Her grandma works at BHTS and drops in every morning around 6:30 to pat her granddaughter's diapered bottom and tell her how beautiful she is and how much she is loved.

This day, when Grandma came in and saw that pretty hair bow, she just couldn't get over it. She smiled and told Baby how pretty it was and asked me if I happened to know where it came from. I simply told her that a nurse over in another area thought her granddaughter needed something beautiful. Grandma was deeply touched.

Monday, I was assigned a very sick baby in Bay 3. When I went into the room, the Caregiver (please notice the capital letter) followed me right in.

"You know, I was just in here a bit ago and this little one told me she was in pain, so I've given her some morphine to help her out. She doesn't deserve to go through so much agony; not with what she's going through later today." ***

I began my set-up and then proceeded with the draw, chatting with Caregiver about what was to happen that day. And then I remembered.

"Oh, Caregiver, I want to tell you something. The other day you made a little bow for the pretty girl in Bay 2. Her grandma happened to drop by while I was in there and Grandma was just thrilled that you'd done such a thing for her granddaughter."

Caregiver's eyes welled up with tears. She grasped my arm and said, "Oh, THANK YOU for telling me! I just think it's so important that the parents and other relatives know that we love these children too; we don't just see them as little bodies with tubes and wires - that they are precious children."

You could see it in her face that she loves the babies. And, she's willing to allow other people to love them too - or perhaps she knows that sharing that love "out loud" so to speak is the best way to speak to many people. Actions do speak louder than words, so they say.

Later that day on another shift, another caregiver came to the lab. She spoke to the Lab Scientist about a draw she wanted done in a few minutes. When the time came, Lab Scientist gave me that req, while he took his trainee in a different direction to do another stick.

I glanced at the req and noticed it was the same child from that morning. Based on her earlier conversation with the Lab Scientist, I thought the child had already had surgery, and thus I took only things needed to pick up a sample from an arterial draw.

But, Baby hadn't gone to surgery yet. So, it wasn't an art stick after all, but a heel stick. So, I told the nurse that I'd go get my things and be back.

She sneered at me.

"Why don't you send Lab Scientist back instead? Let's make sure there's someone who will get the stick the first time. This baby is a very difficult child to draw."

Boy, did that piss me off. But, I kept my cool as any decent professional should.

"Well, I will certainly mention it to Lab Scientist, but I drew this child at 5 a.m. and had no trouble whatsoever with the draw. In fact, she was a very easy stick."

"Hmph!" the caregiver (little 'c') snorted.

I did the draw with no trouble as I expected. The child is an easy stick, in fact, you can't get her to quit bleeding. I wondered how long it would take if they gave her blood thinners post-surgery.

I had reported back to Lab Scientist that the caregiver had requested him.

"No offense, Lab Scientist, but that pissed me off."

"No offense taken, Kate. She was way out of line."

Now, I know that most of the nurses in NICU love the kids they care for. But some don't. Or they don't show it, for they've learned to mask any emotion because it just plain hurts too much when you lose one.

But, you don't beat up on other members of the total health team, especially if you've never had any dealings with them that would indicate their experience or lack of experience. You don't sneer and make remarks to belittle people just because you don't know them. That's just asinine, and it makes others dig their heels in rather than help a person when needed. Her attitude, while good to the child, was horrible to her co-workers. And, that's a complete shame.

So, it was interesting to observe two completely different aspects of caregiving for the same patient. And, interesting to see how they affected those who worked around them.

*** That patient went to a pediatric unit post-surgery. From what I understand she's doing as well as can be expected. This child will probably have a short and painful life. She not only has spina bifida, but also hydrocephalus, or water on the brain. Her surgery was to place a shunt; a procedure with a short term fix at most. There is such a tremendous amount of fluid that a tremendous amount of brain tissue has already been destroyed. This little one will never walk, nor be able to grasp even the most simple of things.