The Misadventures of Miss Bree

Bree is our little calico cat. Well - little in the sense that she's not a long and lanky oriental type breed, but just an ordinary domestic short hair. But, we call her a little square kitty. If you were 'blocking' her to draw, you'd make a rectangle that was closer to square than elongated. And, what helps make her even more square is her belly; you can't call it a 'pot' belly, but maybe a 'cauldron' belly would be more appropriate! *grins* But, she's very ladylike most times. She sits daintily with her feet crossed, looking pretty. But she can also remind you of a person who is wearing spandex but shouldn't be - sometimes that belly just overtakes the room, you know?

So, Bree has her moments of total class or total gutter. The other night she was trying to be classy, but things just didn't work out to her satisfaction and the gutter maid escaped, much to her chagrin. It was close to feeding time. As we humans prepared the evening feast for both man and beasties, we heard something. It was a noise neither of us could identify, so we were listening to it, looking puzzled at each other as the noise got closer and closer to the kitchen.

Then we saw it. The normally patient and pretty Bree, who reclines langorously in the doorway waiting for the servants to bring her food to her had run afoul of....

an evil, wicked, nasty plastic grocery bag. It grabbed her by the leg! It wouldn't let go! She ran, she tried so hard to escape her captor, but that horrible thing would not release its grip! Instead, it ran with her, ballooning open and trying to use the expanded air to slow her down as she tried to make her escape!

Somehow, she made it under the tangle of kitchen chair and table legs to make an escape to hide in the dark family room. After we recovered from both our stunned surprise and the giggles, we went down to rescue the poor damsel.

Of course, she'd found a good hiding spot, under the franklin stove. And, of course, she picked the one spot that was just out of reach. Finally, she shifted just enough so I could grab the plastic bag.

Once I removed the offending item from her, I headed back up the stairs, deciding as I went that I was going to wad the bag up and throw it away, regardless of the idea that it could be recycled. It was a BAD bag, after all - deserved to die for attacking poor Bree!

So, I wadded it up....and it was very wet. I had a sinking feeling. I smelled my hands. Ewwwwwwww.....YUCK! Just as I thought, that evil bag had scared the piss out of the cat. So, the torture was not over for the poor girl; both her 'brother' cat Nic and godshelpus the DOG spent the evening invading her privacy and sniffing her bottom! Oh, the pain, the horror of it all!!!