Of Ragtops, Windburn and Mother-in-laws

Oh it was glorious! I pulled the top off the Jeep this morning and found my "boonie" hat, smeared on some sunblock and headed south.

The destination was my hometown. We both had the day off, the temperature was climbing to the 90's and it was just a perfect day to be out cruising.

Our trip was two-fold. R's mother lives there, and we'd gotten the periodic bitch out from R's sister to haul ass down there and keep MIL company. Our other purpose was to pick up some items that were stashed at cousin Pat's house: wine from Florida that we couldn't ship back, and a couple of other items that just plain needed to be picked up and brought home.

We knocked on the door at MIL's house - her name is Lucy, btw. I can't call her Mom. I tried after my mother died, but truth told, had she been my mother, I'd have run away from home at an early age. So, she's always been called by her first name.

Now, she's really not a bad sort. She's just a little...overbearing at times. There's other adjectives, too, which can be used to describe her. I've been on her shit list for 36 years now, for a variety of niggling little things, from the fact that my teeth are not perfect, to the fact that I was not the person that she wanted her son to marry. (She preferred the nymphomaniac instead of the girl next door. Of course, she had no idea that her preference was a nymphomaniac, but that's beside the point.)

I've never been able to do anything just right in that woman's eyes. Yet, at the same time, I'm the one she depends upon. Let her have a medical emergency and she's begging me to come be her translator. She wanted me with her husband when he had his stroke. She knows I'm the calm and steady one when her daughters are freaking out. But, I took her little boy away and she'll never forgive me that. It's my fault, of course, that he never comes to see her, seldom calls, etc.

She was shocked to see us at the door today. Of course, R didn't call her to let her know we were coming. I think he was hoping she might be gone and we could wander away and have most of our day back.

I haven't seen her since around February. I don't break into a sweat any more when the command is given to appear in her court. If I have to work, oh well. Deal with it. It was always my fault that we never had money for nice new material things like couches and cars. Why did I think it was important to work part time and stay home as much as possible with my children? Was I so dense that I didn't understand that materialism is the name of the game? So now when I'm scheduled to work and can't see her, I figure it provides many of those nice materialistic things she always thought we were lacking. And, my heart isn't broken by the lack of a visit with her, either.

It was a crime that I needed 8 hours or more of sleep to function. I was supposed to be able to get by with 4. I was just lazy.

And this is why I don't appear. I don't need the account listing of my presumed faults.

Now, since I've last seen her, we've been on vacation, we've done several things around the house that she'd probably be interested in since she is materialistic. I'm always interested to hear what the nieces and nephews are doing, but I'd like to be able to talk about my grandbabies as well, but of course, since we're *there* of course it's only to hear about what everyone else is doing. We almost have to force her to take a breath and listen to things our family is doing. It's sad. My kids seldom take the time to call or visit her because she's never interested in what they're doing; she keeps insisting on informing them on what everyone else is doing and the heck with their accomplishments.

We were barely in the door today when she noticed my leg. I had varicose veins around my ankles and when sclerotherapy was in its infant stage, I had a new-to-the-technique doc inject them. She missed a few veins, burned the skin instead and I have a red mark as a result. I keep it checked medically; it's not a big thing. It's been there 4 or 5 years.

She knows about it. She's commented on it several times. But it's a flaw and she's not about to let me get away without scrutiny. I was cross-examined at length, and pronouncement was made. As far as she was concerned I had what old men have...phlebitis. *rolls eyes* That's what she said, "Kathy, you're whole leg is going to swell up and turn red and you're going to drop dead from that old man disease."

Well, maybe I'll just start scratching my crotch and farting in public, too.

And, then there was the pictures. We ended up spending almost two hours looking at pictures of dead relatives. I don't have a problem with that, not really. I actually like to look at them and hear the stories. But, it was shocking to find out that R's granddad had a sister. I had no idea. She'd never been mentioned in my presence before. The whole picture thing turned into something weird and surreal. These would be great family stories I would have liked to have known over the years. I didn't know that R's granddad was a jerk and beat R's dad when he was a kid. There are so many things that happened that certainly would have explained a whole lot of things that seemed to have psychological implications at times.

We finally made our escape. We'd offered to carry some bags of mulch to a more convenient location for her. But, she didn't want us to. But of course she DID...she just wanted us to insist and whine at her so she could manipulate to her own satisfaction. We didn't give her the pleasure. We offered, she refused, we said fine. Game playing is done.

Back in the Jeep - MIL frowned when I got behind the steering wheel. Hey, it's MY Jeep! We headed over to Pat's house. We caught up on the other side of the family tree, and started talking about a potential trip to Vegas with the cousins in a few months.

R commented that Darald would have the same thing to say in Vegas that he did in Florida: "You know all those palm trees? They're not natural, they're all man-planted..." Duh...it's called landscaping, Darald. And since Vegas is a city of landscaping, well, I guess it stands to reason that those palm trees would be 'man-planted' too!

We took our leave, headed northward once again, and ate dinner. It's almost time to get clothes laid out for work tomorrow. I have to admit, my time in the sun and wind has made me weary. I'm looking forward to bedtime tonight!