Even Lab Rats Get to Yell at Doctors...

You know, it was actually kind of fun.

Today, this humble (?) Lab Tech got to chew a doctor's arse.

I was working in the Critical Care Lab today; we were busy enough - OR had all surgical suites up and running. But, it was still quiet enough that I had my knitting with me, and in between phone calls and STAT labs, I could get a little more done on "the sock".

Whooooooooshhhhhh!!!! Ka-THUNK! The pneumatic tube system dropped a carrier into the tray. I grabbed the carrier and hit the button to shut off the annoying beeper. I opened the carrier.

EWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!

The carrier contained a 10 ml. syringe in a biohazard bag. Thank the Gods for the bag. The syringe was empty. The bag was not. The bag was full of what *used* to be in the syringe...a whole lot of blood.

I picked it up by a corner. Thankfully, whatever doofus had packed it in the carrier had managed to actually seal the bag so the blood was contained.

The next step was to call the area where that syringe came from. I identified myself to the unit clerk and asked for the nurse of that patient, or whomever had drawn the sample.

"This is Bill W."

"Bill, this is Kate from the Critical Care Lab. Do you have a patient by the name of Jane Doe?"

"Yes, I do."

"I wanted to let you know that we just received a sample via the tube system on Jane Doe, and the sample had spilled all over the inside of the bag. We need you to redraw the specimen."

"What do you mean? There should be at least a half a syringe full of blood left - it was full when I sent it - tip the syringe upside down and use what's left."

"There's NONE left in the syringe. On top of that, even if there was, you ordered an ABG, and we will not process them if there's more than 25% air in the syringe. The sample will not run accurately."

"Well, can't you get enough blood out of the inside of the bag?"

"Uh, no. Besides, I also need to inform you that you CANNOT send us a sample in a syringe that STILL HAS THE NEEDLE ATTACHED to the syringe!"

"Well, what do you mean? You mean I have to take the needle off the syringe before I send it to you?"

"Yes! That's exactly what I mean. Your syringe was empty BECAUSE you sent it in the tube system WITH an active needle still attached to the syringe with only the needle cap to cover it. THAT'S why the syringe was empty! (I wanted to add 'you moron' but I restrained myself.)

I could hear him suck in a breath of pure fury. I had to chuckle to myself because I knew that while it could have been directed at me, it was more than likely because he had to redraw an ABG...which, by the way was not in a heparinized syringe, either...but because his patient was a psych patient. I'm pretty certain that he'd had a rough go of it the first time, and now he had to face it once again. Paybacks are a bitch sometimes.

"Now, Bill, I hate to have to tell you this, but I *do* have to go through the paperwork and fill out a variance report on this incident. You *are* Jane Doe's caregiver, correct? Are you the RN?"

"No, I'm the resident. I'm her doctor!"

"Well, then, let me make sure I have this spelled correctly. Your name is William W., MD, Correct?

"Yes." I could hear him grinding his teeth. I grinned, then asked him my final question in a sweet and calm voice.

"Dr. W, may I have your CLP number for my report? And, we'll be getting another sample from you very soon?"

"My number is..."

"Thank you." He slammed the phone down. I hung up my phone and shook my head and laughed. I've worked that floor plenty of times, and believe it or not, I've drawn that patient. She's definitely not a person who you'd look forward to having on your list. It took awhile, but we eventually got another sample, which was needle free and in the correct syringe that time.

I wonder what kind of "beating" he got from the patient?