Libby update

As you might imagine, this has been an odd weekend. Actually, odd isn't the right word - I'm not sure if there is a right word.

I've spent most of the last 2.5 days with Libby. What's weirdest of all is that other than the cough she's developed when she starts "singing", if I hadn't taken her to the vet on Wednesday and found out such dire news, I'd really not think there was anything wrong with her. Yet, she's sleeping harder, and seems to tire more easily. But in many ways I can't be sure, because she's always taken lots of naps unless we're about to do something.

The antibiotics have slowed the bleeding down from an almost constant flow to every so often drops. And, I bought baby wipes to wipe her bottom off. The couch is covered with several thicknesses of towels and sheets, rugs have been placed on her favorite areas to lay on the carpet (though we hope to replace the carpet anyway before summer if over), and we've always kept her place on our bed covered with a lap quilt.

We're spoiling the hell out of her, too. She gets "people food treats" from both of us now instead of just from Daddy, and if she wants to play, we play. If she wants to go for a walk, Robert takes her. Friday afternoon she took a long walk - probably went about a mile and a half, and we couldn't see any excessive panting, or any signs of distress afterwards.

We're wondering if there is a chance that when Dr. Beth took the chest x-ray that the lung that *wasn't* seen on the film - the shot was taken while Libby was on her side - might still be relatively clear, thus her lung capacity is far greater than it's thought to be.

But, I'm not holding out much hope for a long reprieve. I just plan on loving her hard every day; even though I do, when pets are healthy, there are times when they do get taken for granted. And, knowing those gentle yet enthusiastic kisses will be gone one of these days, I want to take advantage and savor them.

She wants my attention, whether it is because she needs me or I need her I can't be sure. I've rearranged much of my schedule to be at home as much as possible, and I spend anxious time when Robert and I both must be out of the house at the same time because of work schedules. I'm going to have to start arranging things in such a way that I can plan shopping and other things around times when Robert will be home.

All three of the kids came up this weekend and spent time with Libby. They know that when the time comes, we'll call if we can and they can go with us, but we won't waste time, either. But, I'm really glad that I didn't put her down as soon as Beth gave me the diagnosis on Wednesday. I think if Libby had been Beth's, she might have done it right then. But, I don't see any signs that Libby is in pain; she's still eating, playing, taking a walk, and so on. Her eyes are clear. There's a chance she could die of internal bleeding, but I know what to look for with that, too, so if I see her go pale, you can bet we'll be headed for the vet's office. And, it's possible, too, that Libby will just drift away in one of her many naps.

It's now between Libby and the God/dess. I'll just do what I need to do. And then you guys will have to pick up the pieces and put me back together again when it's all over.