2010 - The Next Decade

Pretty darn sure I'll be talking to an empty room here - it's been so very long since I had any interest in blogging. Facebook sort of crept in there and took over; of course, my life in general did even more damage to my blogging! I don't know why I allowed myself to trot down the path of insane schedules and trying to make a success of myself. But, I did...and many times I wonder for what purpose?

Now the pages of Time have turned to yet another new year. I hope that I'll be able to maintain a bit of rationality as the months proceed. My Anam Cara is back from Iraq, and that has helped so much - I hope I never take him for granted the way I did before his time away. He fretted about me, I about him, and we were both stupid enough to not talk about it...and this from two people who KNOW how vital communication is!!!

While I smugly (not really) watched other people go through horrendous things in 2009, I considered myself lucky to be avoiding such things. The Gods got me for that. The Love of my life made a change in his life that didn't include me. It devastated me to the point of considering suicide; each day was a struggle to go on. What made it even rougher is that he never communicated the changes he was making; instead, he simply threw me away, and rejoined someone he had loved in the past. But, I had ten wonderful years with him and he will be in my heart forever. I do hope in time he will find it in his heart to talk to me. Maybe it's true that one can never go back, but I don't think so. I thought our friendship alone would stand the test of time.

My life continues on a day-to-day basis. My sense of responsibility to everyone kept me from offing myself, and now is the primary reason I haul my ass out of bed every day.

My job at BHTS and my NICU babies still intrigues me; I love working with the wee Warriors. The bullshit that has become the standard of practice for hospitals drives me insane. At BHTS we're heavy in highly paid management, and many times those of us who actually do the work have to explain ad nauseum to the highly paid how to do their jobs correctly. It scares me, quite honestly. We've become a nation of covering our asses with paperwork, much of it designed simply to make upper management look more efficient and in some cases actually makes our job far more difficult. Better that they would begin emphasizing the things that *would* help. But...those suggestions fall on deaf management ears.

My community college experience is still continuing, but in a different area at this point in time. Right now I'm involved with a program which is a "boot camp" for nurses returning to practice after a few years. We do weekend intensives in which the nurses are given refresher courses in how to start IV's, basic phlebotomy, hands-on case studies in the simulation center, ER work, and many other aspects. I've had a blast with that; I've liked being able to lecture and not have to dumb down things. Okay, so I lied. I do have to dumb down some things, and usually when those questions get asked, I get a little antsy about the state of health care. At the last session, I was observing the reanactment of a scenario and was pointing out obvious things the nurses were overlooking in their assessments of the patients. And, believe me, I say that with all sincerity! It scared me, because the things they were missing were things that any non-medical person would pick up on!

The events of the last few months have made it almost impossible for me to concentrate on any writing; one of my co-workers has been totally pissed about that. She's just had her first book accepted by an editor for consideration and she thinks I should haul some ass and get one of my projects finished. I tease her and tell her we should go on a book tour together.

Speaking of books and writing, I was approached by someone to do a serious book on an alternative lifestyle. I've done some research to see if I think it might be viable, and preliminarily, I would say it might work. So, I've ordered all the books I can find that have been written in the last 20 years, and have combed a few research articles to begin roughing out the ideas for this. We'll see. I guess I can safely say that if I put myself to it, I can have it close to finished in a year.

Socially, I've been making myself get out and do things. I have met a couple of women at work that I've started doing some things with and that's been fun. I've also made a point to NOT stick around the house and hide in my office while my spouse watches football. I've even gone away for the weekend a time or two. And, he doesn't seem to mind me being gone - in fact, he so doesn't mind me being gone he never even bothers to ask me if I had a good time; it's far more important to him to update me on what's happening with the scores on his sports. I am SO loved - NOT!

Thd kids are doing well. Our 7th grandbaby is due in early April. I am so in hopes that this delivery will be all the things that the last one wasn't for Kirk and Marsha. She is not going to deliver at BHTS, but at one of the other area hospitals. Truth told, I approve that decision most heartily.

So, there you have it. A brief synopsis of Rigel's Wheel in the beginnings of 2010. I pray that this year is joyous for all of us.

Stand by...more will be forthcoming at another time.

Slainte!