Orion's promise to share his broken nose story reminded me of my own.
I'd just graduated from massage therapy school, Robert was on the road as a mystery shopper so I was basically a "single" mom. School, homework, and housework/mothering had taken all my time so my social life was nil.
Finally, my buddy Sandy and I decided to go out for a few drinks one Friday night. As I was getting ready, I was also running between the kitchen and bathroom, getting spiffed up and cooking dinner for the family alternately.
Oldest daughter Vaughn had taken over half her brother's double closet, since boys usually have fewer clothes. So she's in the closet in Kirk's bedroom rooting around. Kirk is in his other sister's room talking to her. So, on one of my trips between bathroom and kitchen, I came out of the bathroom as Kirk was leaving Lyn's room. As I follow him down the hall, he notices Vaughn in his room and stops to see what the heck she's doing in there. Of course, my mind is elsewhere, and I don't notice him stopping. So, *wham!* I crashed into Kirk, hitting my nose on his thick skull. *snap*
I hear the nose break and feel the blood start gushing. I grab my nose to keep the blood from covering my good clothes. Kirk takes one look at me and turns a ghastly shade of white when he realizes I'm really hurt. So, I'm trying to hold him up, hold my nose, and get to a mirror so I can see the damage.
Packed my nose (not with tampons, though!) and reset it back into proper alignment and taped it. (Anatomy class *does* come in handy). Iced my face down for a bit, cursed for awhile because I didn't want to skip going out for the evening! Sheesh! I hadn't been out for months!
Anyway, I tanked up on some ibuprofen, decided to go meet Sandy and headed to indulge in a few adult beverages. Figured that would help dull the pain, too! LOL
Of course, my nose was swollen, and I couldn't breathe except through my mouth - what a delightful sight that must have been! So, Sandy and I spent the evening trying to be heard over a band, and since I was pretty much unable to speak coherently because of the swelling, we talked in 'pidgin' sign language. It was a hoot!
Because I'd reset the nose so quickly it healed quite rapidly, but it sure was tender for quite a few weeks!
My suggestion is that broken noses should be banned.
Of course, I also think that breaking your dominant arm should not be allowed either. For females it's too hard to take care of those monthly things without your dominant hand, and it's just not the kind of thing you really want to ask your spouse to help you with!
5 comments:
LOL LOL LOL!!
That's a good story! And why not ask hubby for help? I've helped several ladies learn how to use that particular gadget as it's a LOT better than the 'diapers'...
My nose healed fast too - and I didn't have all THAT much blood - less than I did from the NPA going awry...
Orion
There's a part of me that really wants to know how you came to be *that* kind of instructor...and there's another part that is definitely closing eyes, plugging ears and saying "LaLaLaLa"
It probably would depend on the guy on whether or not you could ask for help. There's no way in hell I'd ask Robert to help with those things, mostly because he'd be balking at the thought of it!
*walking away whistling quietly*
Orion
I'm with you on this one Kate. Hubby can't stand the thought of looking at the box of unused ones let alone help me out!! *rolling eyes*
And i'm kind of wondering on the other myself, but not enough to really want to know for sure! LOL
This tampon talk brings to mind a story that happened when Kirk was just a wee lad...probably somewhere around 7 years old or so.
We have a half-bath off one of the bedrooms, and at that time it was the master bathroom, so that was the one I kept my "necessities" in. One day the chain on the toilet handle came undone, and since this was a fairly regular occurance, everyone in the house knew how to take the tank lid off, fish out the chain and reattach it. And, of course since we all have a lazy streak, it was easier to balance everything on the toilet lid rather than move it, fix the problem, and then move it back again. So, Kirk attempts to fix the toilet, and drops a brand new box of OB tampons in the tank! Of course, what did they do? The whole box EXPANDED. LOL Kirk came running to get me because he didn't know what to do - he was still only seven, after all. So, I came in and rescued everything that had fallen in, and while Kirk was in there, he decided to ask me just what those things were FOR.
I'm like, "Gods, I don't want to have this talk NOW...."
So, I copped out. "Kirk, you're still a little too young for me to tell you what those things are for. In a couple of years I'll tell you, but for now, let's just leave it at these are things that grown up ladies use."
And Kirk looks up at me so very seriously with his big blue eyes and said, "Yeah, Mom, I kind of thought that was for grown up ladies. You use them to put your eye makeup on."
And then he wondered why his mother choked and sputtered and tried hard not to laugh in front of him.
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