Social media has, in many ways, become the bane of society. Each person has to come to terms with how they use it, and that seems to be an ongoing challenge.
I have reinvented my own social media experience several times. When I first discovered FB, for example, I was utterly charmed at sending on those meme's and "post for an hour" type things. Anymore it has to be something fun, or funny...like what's my sex life like if my birthday is a certain month? My question is, "what's a sex life! LOL!"
I don't prattle on and on about what I had for lunch. I don't post endless pictures of my pets because I have no one else in my life. And so on and so on.
What I do, though, is have very select people who I do share those things with. Not on FB, though. I share those things by private message, or phone conversation, or some method that is one-on-one.
I had such a thing happen today at work. A friend/coworker told me some very interesting information about the customs of her country which is indicative of trust, because she is from the Middle East. The information is readily available on the internet, but when one does not read Arabic...one has to search a bit deeper for the information. And, since I love to research...I was very excited to learn more, and perhaps begin to incorporate some of that ritual into my own life and religious practice.
I was very honored when she told me she would have me come over to her home sometime and show me and let me try some of the ritual myself with her guidance.
But then something interesting happened. I was very excited about this whole thing - I'm sure that seems obvious! I wanted to share my pleasure, and I knew just the person I wanted to tell it to first. I sent a private message to him. My choice of him was because he has traveled in the Middle East and is so smart and wise and would be the sort I would expect to have noticed things regarding differences in the culture, or heard murmurings about rituals regardless of whether they be religious, or for men or women. The main point is I wanted to share it with him *first*.
One of the rituals concerns herbs, oils, etc., and is specifically designed for married women, or women preparing for marriage. So, my question to him was, "When you are visiting (country), have you noticed the scent of married women there?" I had also told him the country of origin for my friend, which is not the same as the country he generally goes to.
His response to me was that not all Arabs are alike. It's a tribal.
Not one word about how interesting it was to have that information shared with me, or anything to indicate any sort of positivity.
The first time I read it, I felt as though I'd been slapped. Like I was not intelligent enough to realize that there are tribes of different cultures in that area of the world. So, I told him that of course I knew that, but thanked him for making sure I did! And, I will readily admit that my first responses would not have been kind - in my defense, I'd just gotten up from a nap and was still under sleep induced stupor. I had the sense to not slap dash back a response while pissed. Life is too short and I love this friend dearly. And, we all know that text messages are not the same as speaking in person.
After a few hours, I sent a message to another friend of many years...yes, another member of the male species. I've not yet heard back from him, but I'll be interested to see the differences, if any, in the response.
My point though, is that I hope I remember when someone thinks enough of me to share something they are excited about to appreciate their trust in you. If I've learned enough about you to care what you think, please don't make me feel small. It does not belittle me...but it does make me feel as though perhaps I'm not worthy of your time or attention...would you even care if I stopped talking or caring?
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