You know what the WORST thing about having Orion as a best friend is? It's when he takes something that could probably quite easily be left just the way it came down through the ages and answers it in something akin to brilliance. Then I have to grovel in awe at what falls out of his grey matter with little or no trouble.
Everyone has grown up with riddles and tongue twisters designed to...well...drive you crazy in some way. For some of us it's a very short trip. Others, like Orion, delve into the heart of the questions asked, not content to just let things maintain the status quo.
Does there NEED to be an answer to everything? If you're Orion...yes. The question was posed over on Yahoo Answers:
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
And, Orion replied:
There has been extensive research into this question over the ages.
The Biblical Answer is, of course: "Yeah, and the Woodchucks did gather into the Ark and verily Noah did cast them out as they began chucking the gopherwood of the Ark into the sea leaving the gophers mightily pissed." (Genesis 4, verse 10)
Socrates, famed philosopher of Ancient Greece answered it thusly: "Wait...I drank what?" which, unfortunately left quite a bit of mystery that he was unable to explain fully as he died soon after.
The French, experimenting during the Age of Reason found only that woodchuck bites can be quite painful and that (after the revolution overthrowing their woodchuck masters and re-establishing the Bourbon dynasty) woodchuck fur really doesn't make good coats.
Scandanavians, attempting to find the one true answer found that woodchucks freeze when left in sub-zero temperatures in a pile of wood without really establishing a definitive answer although Swedish Chemist Alfred Nobel claimed that the answer could be derived by exploding the woodchucks with his nifty new invention 'dynamite' - Other scientists (primarily Norwegian) countered this claim by saying "EWW!" and "YUCK!"
Most recently, American researchers have found only that the Woodchucks will turn the needed Environmental Impact Statements into warm nesting material, necessitating the forms all be filled out again: In triplicate. Unfortunately, while they were doing this, terrorists from Earth First! attempted to rescue the woodchucks, resulting in several fatalities in the Earth First! Commando team from painful Woodchuck bites, this confirming the French Research.
The Japanese have, however, built a robotic Woodchuck that is half the size of a natural Woodchuck, runs on Solar Power, and chucks Wood all day long at the rate of 2 cords per hour.
Hopefully, this helps...
Orion
9 comments:
Amazing isn't it? He has the ability to make things so crystal clear while simultaneously getting you to laugh! It's an amazing gift ;)
Hahahaha!! That's our "O"! :-)
I feel like a fly on the wall.
*giggling*
Keep talking, girl's! ;-)
That's IT, Lainy! You can start a blog and call it "Fly on the Wall" and post about the various blogs you read about as well as what's going on with you.
I keep tellin' you and Flo that I have too many blogs to read to start my own.
Maybe someday...
Great idea though, Kate.
ROFLMBO, that was excellent!
And get on that blog, would ya, Sissy? Or how about: "The Fly on Flo's Wall," since I don't seem to find time to get to my own blog. You could just write it for me, huh?
;-)
I just may do that!
You shouldn't talk! Where's your new post??? ;-)
Flo....remember the "fart in front of our spouses" conversation? If you let Lainy write your blog, you need to be afraid.....very afraid....*laughing my ass off*
I still laugh at that as well Kate. It was an ice breaker even though most of our conversation flowed well.
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