News From the Nursery Lab 2008-6

or why I desperately needed to go on vacation...


The vacation had already been planned, but my last week of work made it all too clear to me that I needed time away.

Why? The Answer: Two Babies and Hospital Idiocy.

Baby #1 is one I told you about in an earlier post. This baby had had a stroke in utero, and had been resuscitated; further tests showed the baby to have no brain activity. The parents, it turns out, are not from this country, and hope that somehow the doctors in the United States will be able to pull off a miracle for them.

So, the baby is on life support. She had been moved to Bay 2, and there was a day that I had her on my assignment list for a draw. I went to her room, set up my stuff and got ready to do the draw. Her foot was cold - not really a surprise - so I held a heel warmer to her foot for a minute or so.

Perhaps I shouldn't have done this, knowing what would happen, and knowing how it would affect me, but I ran a finger across the bottom of her foot in spite of it. Of course there was no response whatsoever; neural pathways have nothing to send their messages *to*. I realized that you could punch a nail through that child's foot and there would be...nothing. It really got to me. I wanted to gather that poor baby into my arms and weep. I hope that the parents have come to a decision to let her go.

Baby #2 is a darling little guy who has been working his way through the NICU Bays, preparing to get well enough to go home. I went to get his labs and quite actually was surprised to see his name, so much so that I said to his nurse, "I thought Baby was supposed to go home last weekend."

The nurse grimaced and replied, "He was supposed to...."

It turns out that the boy was all ready to be discharged, but the parents didn't show. Subsequent contact was made and offers to the parents for fuel costs were discussed since they live quite a distance away.

That didn't do the trick either. You see, Mom and Dad are video game junkies and they really didn't want this child, so they just aren't in any real hurry to bring him home. In short, they don't want him at all. Social services is in on it; I'm hoping that somehow they turn over their parental rights so this baby can be welcomed into a home where he will be loved and wanted.

I'd like to rip out their throats.

My final straw was the application of the new "hand sanitizing" protocol BHTS is in the process of implementing.

It's no longer good enough to wash your hands and use hand sanitizer.

Our new routine goes something like this:

1. Wash your hands with soap and water in the lab.
2. Upon entering a patient room, immediately use hospital approved hand sanitizer to make sure over 90% of the germs are killed.
3. Put on gloves.
4. If you come in contact with the patient before you're ready to do labs, you must remove your gloves, re-sanitize your hands and put on fresh gloves.
5. After you draw labs, you must immediately remove your gloves while still in the patient's room, wash your hands and apply hand sanitizer.

Now...there's a problem. You still have tubes of blood to transport in some way.

In the past, we've simply kept at least one hand gloved and carry the samples back to the lab, either hand them off to the lab scientists, or processed them off to the core lab. Then we'd remove glove(s) and wash our hands and prepare for the next patient.

No more.

Now we have been told that after the samples are drawn, we must put the samples into a small plastic bag - non biohazard - so these germ covered samples are NOT EXPOSED IN THE HALLWAY.

That's right, folks. Blood sample tubes have been deemed to be so hazardous to the air in the hallway that it's just not SAFE for anyone to be in the same airspace with them!

Funny...the tubes I carry into the rooms are exposed to the air; the inside of the tubes are not. My tubes are carried into the room in a tray which is not sterile, I pull the little plastic bags out of my lab coat...you know that standard PPE (personal protective equipment) that we are required to wear to keep us safe from blood splatters or other bodily fluids.

Funny...those plastic bags I am required to carry are in my germ free pocket in my germ free lab coat with which I wear scrubs I put on at home and will wear home, and shoes that are not covered with shoe covers.

In short, we are being told that this hand washing is so vital to the health of these babies that we must keep the room germ free at all costs by following the new protocol. But, in true typical bureaucratic style, they are focused solely on the handwashing regardless of the total picture.

And, we must make sure we sanitize our hands long enough, too. We have to sing the "Happy Birthday" song, "Ring Around the Rosy" (nice song to choose considering that one was originally made up about the plague) or "Row Row Row Your Boat". Our fingernails must be coated underneath with the sanitizer, too. While sanitizer is still in your palms, you must "scritch" your fingernails through the sanitizer in your palms to make sure the bad germies get eliminated. And, we're doing this all TWICE in the patient's room.

But...

There's MORE.

We're being watched to make sure protocol is followed. Some of the staff are wearing particular scrub tops to indicate the presence of Big Brother. And we're all so grown up that it's not enough to quietly remind fellow workers if they happen to forget to follow the proper protocol.

Oh no...it might hurt someone's feelings, or embarrass or humiliate them if you actually vocalize their goof.

There's something BETTER. You have to do this with a catchy little theme. And the theme chosen has been the "Rub It" campaign.

For weeks, we've been getting emails letting us know the "frogs" are coming.

Last Monday we got our frogs.

You read it right. We were all handed little tiny frogs. But not just as a cute little visual, oh no....

These wee little frogs are squeaky toys. We have to carry the frogs in our "germ free" lab coats, these wee plastic reptilians which of course will be germ free as well. (Pardon the sarcasm)

And, why is it so important to carry the frogs? Why, I'm surprised you haven't guessed! If we spot someone not following hand sanitizing protocol, we can't SAY anything to them! Oh NO! We couldn't humiliate someone in that way, by all the hand sanitizing gods!!! We have to SQUEAK our little frogs at them!!!!

If someone squeaks one of those damn things in my direction, you can just about bet the frog is going to find a nice dark place to reside where the sun don't shine.

And, that was why my vacation was vital to my health and well being. And yes, I indulged in plenty of alcohol, too.

It's back to work tomorrow. I may be wishing for alcohol far sooner than any person should after time away.

Grrrr.